One day, I woke up suddenly in the darkness. I slowly got down from the bed so that I wouldn’t disturb my husband who was still asleep. I opened our bedroom door, walked to the kitchen and turned on the lamp. I was really surprised to see that the gas stove was switched on but there’s no fire since it had run out of gas. The water in the pot had dried out. I remembered that when I wanted to sleep, my husband who was still working in front of laptop said that he was boiling water. It seemed that he had fallen asleep without turning off the gas stove. I hastily returned to the bedroom and woke my husband. I told him that he had forgotten to turn off the gas stove and I scolded him. Thankfully the gas ran out so there’s no case of fire. Even luckier, this was just a dream!
This dream is similar to our real life. Almost every morning, my husband is the one who washes rice and cooks them. After that, he boils water and prepares oatmeal. If there is still enough time, he exercises a bit and after that he takes a bath and prepares to leave for work.
Cooking vegetables and side dishes are my part. After the food are ready, I put them into my husband’s lunch box, including the rice he cooked. One day, when I opened the rice cooker and wanted to scoop some rice, it’s still full of water! It turned out that my husband had forgotten to press the button. I called my husband and scolded him. Wait a second. Why did I feel like this had happened before? Is this déjà vu? No, not déjà vu! This was similar to my dream the night before.
In the midst of my anger, I told my husband that this morning’s incident was similar to my dream the night before, only that the type of mistake was different. In my dream, I was angry because he forgot to turn off the gas stove, while in real world, I was angry because he forgot to turn on rice cooker. I was furious. This was something he did a lot, how can he still forgot to press the button. When I was still angry, my husband calmed my emotion, with his guilty face and soft voice, “Please don’t be angry”. After seeing his face and hearing his voice, my heart was softened. I told him to buy rice at canteen, while I accompanied him to walk to the front of the house. (I accompany him walk to the front of the house every day and I enjoy it.) When he had gotten on top of his motorcycle, I waited for him to leave before closing the door. On top of the motorcycle, he said “Please don’t be angry, my wife”, with guilty face. I answered, “I am no longer angry”. Yes! I managed to control my emotion.
All these times, when I was angry, my husband would apologize for his negligences and he would always make me calm with his soft voice, “Please don’t be angry”. And I would try to be no longer angry as soon as possible. Because I knew that everyone, including me, couldn’t avoid making mistakes. Furthermore, he didn’t make this mistake on purpose. Sometimes he accidentally drops things he’s holding such as bowls and glasses into small pieces. Sometimes he locks containers too tightly so that I can't open them. Or he forgets to turn on the rice cooker. In the past, I would get angry easily but because he always calms me, I remember not to be angry anymore. Furthermore, he has never been angry to me. Not even once. I should be grateful too that he always helps with household works, such as cooking the rice, boiling the water, drying the clothes, picking up the clothes, throwing away the rubbish, and many more.
I once asked him what is the secret to his patience. These are his words that I always remember, so that I don’t want to be angry anymore: “If you are angry to your spouse, and then something bad happens to him, you will regret it forever because you have no more chance to make up with him.”
Author: Su Santi
A teacher and a housewife who dreams a lot. Loves reading and writing.